Happy 1st Birthday Abigail Rose!

I truly can't believe my sweet baby girl is one today! One whole year old!

Abby girl, At 10:40am on August 25, 2011 you entered this great big world and have brought joy to everyone you have met since then. This past year has been the fastest year ever. It has also been one of the hardest, yet most rewarding as well. You might wear me out most days with your running around and getting into things, but you make me smile every day. You are one silly girl who knows when and what to do to make us laugh, especially at dinner time when it's fairly quiet. Somehow that's always when you decide to crack up laughing to get all the attention just because, and then we always join in because you are just too cute and funny not to laugh with. You make us all so incredibly happy.

{Love at first sight for Daddy}

{Mommy was happy you were finally here}

{Our last monthly picture}

Wow. The last monthly picture. Yup, at this point the screen is so blurry from my tears I'm not even sure I can write this post. Whew. Deep breaths. Seriously, one? How did this happen so fast? I'm pretty sure I still remember having you in my belly and feeling all those kicks, though it does seem so long ago we were dealing with every two hour feedings, newborn cries, and holding and changing you so delicately because we were afraid to hurt you. Now it's every three hour feedings with some sleeping through the night happening lately, toddler whines, and wrestling you to the floor to change you. You are so cute and so funny though it's hard to get frustrated with you. 

Here's a little peek into your great big toddler world:

• practically running around the house now
• can climb up steps, and even come down one or two
• keep trying new foods with you even though most of the time you try to hand them back after chewing a bit
• cheerios are a big hit
• enjoying your baby dolls
• love to pet Toby and always call for "woof"
• chatting up a storm and trying new words all the time
• love the bath and pool
• swinging and going for wagon rides are outside favorites
• Aidan is your best bud and you want to do everything he is doing
• you give lots of kisses and hugs now
• still nursing, though I'm trying to cut back to just wake-up and bedtime
• drink whole milk, though it usually has to be warmed
• wearing size 12 months clothes
• wearing size 3 diapers
• probably a size 4.5 shoe right now
• and I'll update your growth stats after the appointment

So baby girl, I'm not sure how the past year flew by so quickly, but I do know that it was one of the best years of my life. We were blessed with an amazing daughter who is the perfect sibling for Aidan. You make us laugh and smile and appreciate so many of the littler things in life. Love you SOOO much!

My thoughts on life right now:

I need more tissues.

Best year ever. 

So blessed. 

Chh chh chh changes...

Too many to be quite honest! I don't do well with change, not at all. And the end of August is going to drive me straight down Stress Street. Maybe if I get it all out in the blog I'll be a little calmer about all the things to come. And maybe, just maybe, I'll realize that I'm not the one in control and it'll have to be okay. Because everything always works out, right?

• Abby turns one.
• started the transition to whole milk and trying to cut back on nursing her. never thought I'd make it more than a few weeks and now we're having a harder time weaning. what an emotional rollercoaster in more ways than one.
• blessed to have two healthy, amazing children. doubly blessed that we have a boy and a girl. wondering if this is it for us, or if there's more to come. if she is my last baby i want to soak up every second of the tiny tot stages.

• Aidan goes to preschool.
• he'll ride a bus. and i won't be driving. nor will i be buckling him in to be sure he's 100% safe and protected. i won't be there if anything happens or to make sure there's no bullies. because yes, even preschoolers can get bullied. 
• he'll be in the public school which is fabulous, but it's just one step closer to the big K and that is just crazy. he was just a tiny baby not so long ago. how can he be in real school already? 
• how will he deal with a new school? new teacher? new friends? will he be nervous? will he remember to use the bathroom?

• I'm teaching a new-to-me class.
• i haven't even thought about this kind of class since college.
• i don't know how i'll run the room.
• i hate transitioning into something new.
• i'll have two aides, which means micromanaging. and also means that they could potentially think it's okay to have a whole lot of social time and i hate confrontation.
• did i mention i've never done it before?
• i am my biggest critic, and while i know i can be a good teacher, i worry that my best isn't good enough sometimes.

• Abby is going to two places. 
• Kathy will be watching Abby twice a week and Jeneen three times a week. 
• family is a little more accepting of the rough days and difficult kids, just hoping a friend will be too (I know she will, I guess I'm just worried she'll tire of Abby quickly).
• will abby be okay with two different places? will she eat well? nap well? still get to go to story time at the library with mom-mom? 
• will i remember where i'm taking her on which day? will i get to work on time?

ugh. i think that's all for now. but i'm not promising i won't come back and add more. and i'll admit to deleting some others that typing them out made me realize how ridiculous it was to be worrying about it. 

My thoughts on life right now:

worrying has got to be a genetic trait. thanks mom. :p

am i the only one who likes needs to have so much control?

when will i be able to just loosen up?

Run, Staci, Run!!!

February 13, 2012 was the start of my new beginning. The one where I tried to make myself love running, and though I may not actually love the act of it, I love the feeling after completing a run and the results I'm seeing in the mirror. I started Couch to 5k that day and began a new outlook on running. At the end of April I ran my very first 5k (Phillies Charities 5k), then I ran two more in May. One for Juvenile Diabetes and one for my school's PTO. Friends started discussing running the Wild Half Marathon and the 8k on August 26th and all I was thinking was how Abby would turn one the day before. 

Fast forward to a run a couple of month ago where it hit me. The whole reason I started running was to feel better, not just for me, but for my kids. I was sluggish and tired all the time with little to no energy to play. I didn't want to be that mom. I wanted to have energy, be fun, and yeah...look pretty good while doing it. So that's when I convinced Sean to do the half marathon that he showed interest in and I'd sign up for the 8k. Once we got the logistics of staying somewhere and babysitters, I committed to running it. 

Today I laced up my shoes and tried completed the longest run I've ever done. 4 miles. 4 whole miles. Crazy! I've never run 4 miles in my life but today I did it. And when I felt so tired and sore that I just wanted to stop and walk home, I thought about my kids. About how I want to be around for a really long time for them. About how I want to have the energy and ability to play all day with them. And that's when I pushed myself that much harder to keep going, to finish that whole 4 miles. And when I was done? Well, I looked down at my MapMyRun app and was mad at myself for not going a little further so I could have "closed" the rectangle I drew on the map with the GPS tracking! ha! There's that self-guilt again. But then I stopped and thought "wow. I really just ran four miles. I did it. And to think it's only been six months of irregular running." I'm pretty proud of myself. 

{Avg. 11:55 min/mi...slow & steady}

My thoughts on life right now:

It may not have been the fastest I've ever run, but I ran.

My work clothes may actually fit me this year.

I need to keep up this healthy habit. 

11 months

Seriously, where has the time gone? I've procrastinated big time on writing this post but you didn't know that since I backdated :). The fact that my little Abby girl turns one in a month makes me want to cry, but at the same time, it's so exciting. So here's a peek into Abby girl's world:

• walking! All over the place!
• can climb steps, and has learned how to come down the step from the kitchen to the family room
• gives her stuffed animals hugs, and Aidan & Mommy & Daddy too
• gives great big open mouth kisses and says "mmmmmah"
• blows kisses, but sort of pats her mouth and makes noise
• waves 
• loves "pattycake" and "itsy bitsy spider"
• loves sitting on laps and reading books and already wants to be the page turner
• pretends to talk on the phone remote or anything else that can be a phone and will put her hand to her ear when the phone rings
• points and yells at the pantry door when she wants something other than what's on her tray
• can scribble with a crayon or the travel magna doodle
• shakes her head no, and will sometimes say "mo"
• drinks from sippy cup and straw cup and wants any cup that isn't her's
• loves chicken nuggets
• will try any food from someone else's plate
• enjoys playing with the play kitchen
• wearing 12 months clothes, size 3 diapers
• still nursing, and since she brought me the boppy today I think weaning will be harder than expected...heck, I never thought I'd make it this far and for that to be my biggest problem is nothing!
• waking up at least once a night for some nursing and cuddle time with me
• doing anything she can to keep up with Aidan
• loves, loves, loves Toby...she pets him at any chance she can and he's been great with her
• Pretty chatty and can say: mom, da, pop-pop, puff, woof, ball, up
• Some words she attempts: bear & bird (bah), Aidan, Landon, dog (gog), boob yes, for real, hello

So, that's a peek into the world of Abby girl. And much too soon I'll be writing her 1st birthday post. And I should probably be working on her party stuff but part of me is in denial and sad and the other part is just plain exhausted. 

My thoughts on life right now:

We are so incredibly blessed with two amazing children. 

I can't believe that a year ago Abby was snuggled in my belly still. 

Tooth #6!

Tooth number six popped through yesterday. It's the left one next to the middle. Hopefully once this one is in all the way she will sleep a little better through the night for me since that's not happening!

Fun in the Sun

{NWW 7.2.12}

Abby loves the sand, but thankfully does not eat it, just little tastes here and there. She crawls all over in it and will even sit down by the water and play in that sand and the little waves. Aidan, of course, is still our sunglasses wearing beach bum. This is the first summer he didn't have a navy blue shark wide brimmed hat from Gymboree, so his hair is lightening up and showing a little auburn tint to it. He still loves his sunglasses though since the sun is "too bright". I'm so thankful we can vacation with our little ones and they can have a great time. And even more thankful that I have help when Sean is back home working.

My thoughts on life right now:

Life is good. 

One day I'll own a shore house, even if it is when I'm old enough to have grandchildren to make memories with. 

Tooth #5!

Well, #4 popped through around June 23rd and today I noticed #5. It's the one next to the top right. I wonder if the rest will pop through quickly now.

My thoughts on life right now:
My baby girl is growing up so fast!!! I can't believe it.