Chh chh chh changes...

Too many to be quite honest! I don't do well with change, not at all. And the end of August is going to drive me straight down Stress Street. Maybe if I get it all out in the blog I'll be a little calmer about all the things to come. And maybe, just maybe, I'll realize that I'm not the one in control and it'll have to be okay. Because everything always works out, right?

• Abby turns one.
• started the transition to whole milk and trying to cut back on nursing her. never thought I'd make it more than a few weeks and now we're having a harder time weaning. what an emotional rollercoaster in more ways than one.
• blessed to have two healthy, amazing children. doubly blessed that we have a boy and a girl. wondering if this is it for us, or if there's more to come. if she is my last baby i want to soak up every second of the tiny tot stages.

• Aidan goes to preschool.
• he'll ride a bus. and i won't be driving. nor will i be buckling him in to be sure he's 100% safe and protected. i won't be there if anything happens or to make sure there's no bullies. because yes, even preschoolers can get bullied. 
• he'll be in the public school which is fabulous, but it's just one step closer to the big K and that is just crazy. he was just a tiny baby not so long ago. how can he be in real school already? 
• how will he deal with a new school? new teacher? new friends? will he be nervous? will he remember to use the bathroom?

• I'm teaching a new-to-me class.
• i haven't even thought about this kind of class since college.
• i don't know how i'll run the room.
• i hate transitioning into something new.
• i'll have two aides, which means micromanaging. and also means that they could potentially think it's okay to have a whole lot of social time and i hate confrontation.
• did i mention i've never done it before?
• i am my biggest critic, and while i know i can be a good teacher, i worry that my best isn't good enough sometimes.

• Abby is going to two places. 
• Kathy will be watching Abby twice a week and Jeneen three times a week. 
• family is a little more accepting of the rough days and difficult kids, just hoping a friend will be too (I know she will, I guess I'm just worried she'll tire of Abby quickly).
• will abby be okay with two different places? will she eat well? nap well? still get to go to story time at the library with mom-mom? 
• will i remember where i'm taking her on which day? will i get to work on time?

ugh. i think that's all for now. but i'm not promising i won't come back and add more. and i'll admit to deleting some others that typing them out made me realize how ridiculous it was to be worrying about it. 

My thoughts on life right now:

worrying has got to be a genetic trait. thanks mom. :p

am i the only one who likes needs to have so much control?

when will i be able to just loosen up?